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maudlin-memoirs asked:

if you're doing fic requests still, would you do 5 and 23 with SouRin?

ezzydean:

5 & 23 - holding hands & weight of the world

Most of their stuff has been in kind of a limbo spot between Samezuka and their parents’ homes for weeks.  They still have a few classes and general school activities left so they have some stuff at the dorms.  But most of their things are packed away in boxes and bags in their parents’ hallways and in their childhood bedroom.  When the time finally comes they gather the last few boxes of stuff from Sousuke’s parents’ house and Sousuke refuses to let go of his hand.  From the doorway down to his parent’s car.  They sit in the backseat with boxes on their laps and their hands together on the seat.  Sousuke slides out after Rin when they get there.  He keeps Rin’s fingers twined around his own up the stairs and into the apartment.  He lets go long enough to give his mom and dad a hug goodbye and promises to call if he needs anything, and to call even if he doesn’t.  As soon as the door is shut he’s holding Rin’s hand and they walk the small apartment together.

He keeps Rin within arm’s reach through unpacking some things, Rin insists on unpacking a box of his own stuff that he was leaving there so that it would all be in the right place, and a quick meal.  He lets go so they can shower and settle into his bed, hands linked once more.

"You can always stay," Sousuke whispers.  He means it, but he doesn’t.  He’s never held Rin back before and he won’t start now.  A smile slips onto his lips when he feels Rin press a kiss to their clasped hands.

"I know."

Rin refuses to let go of his hand.  Taking the train further into the city, fingers tight around Sousuke’s, side by side ignoring any stares.  They step off the train into a bustle of people and Rin keeps Sousuke close.  There’s a bag on each of their shoulders - Sousuke wanted to grab them both but Rin stared pointedly at him and his shoulder until Sousuke submitted and handed one over - and the weight of their lives hovering over them.  Rin leads the way towards his gate and they stop, staring out the large windows at the plane.  Sousuke’s fingers tighten around Rin’s and they both smile at each other.

Rin had said his goodbyes to everyone else back at the apartment and it was just them here.

"You can always come with," Rin says, tears threatening to spill over even as he swallows hard to keep his emotions in check.  Sousuke smiles; he can, and he can’t.  He can’t be a burden to Rin, can’t let Rin be the one to drag him towards his future.  They each have their own paths to take for awhile.  No mater how hard it is now that they’ve found each other again.

"I know."  Even if they both know it, that doesn’t make it any easier.  

Rin keeps their fingers twined together as he buries his head against Sousuke’s chest, waiting until the last possible moment to pull back, plant a hard kiss to his lips, and hurry onto the plane without looking back.

Sousuke clenches and unclenches his fingers as the plane takes off and bites his cheek to keep his own tears away.  His jaw aches by the time he finally wanders out of the airport and catches the train back towards his apartment.  Their apartment, technically, even though Rin won’t be around to use it much.

Each time Rin comes back he leaves something behind.  Even if he can only make it for a few days he still manages to leave the apartment feeling a little more like home for Sousuke by the time he’s gone again.  A book, a souvenir, a scarf, a shirt.  Sousuke finds little pieces of Rin, of the life they have now and the one they have promised for the future, scattered through the small apartment when he drags himself back from the airport each time.  Each visit is another step closer to them being together.

He’s patient.  He understands that the others miss Rin just as much as he does, just in different ways.  So he does his best not to monopolize his visits if for no other reason than because he is always the one Rin comes home to and each time Rin comes home Sousuke feels like another weight is being lifted off his shoulders.

Sousuke is lounging on the couch half asleep when he hears the door open.  He’s instantly alert and confused; Gou and Sousuke’s parents are the only ones with extra keys to the place and none of them had mentioned stopping by.  Keys drop to the small shelf next to the door and he hears a pair of shoes kicked off then a thump of a heavy bag.  He peeks his head around the corner and freezes.

Rin’s smile is as breathtaking as always and Sousuke’s chest hurts when their eyes meet.

"Rin?"  Sousuke’s sure he looks like a fool, mouth hanging open and hair messy from his nap, but Rin is looking at him like he’s never seen anything better.

"I’m home."  The tears well up in Rin’s eyes and Sousuke has him in his arms before the first one can even slip down his cheek.

"Welcome home."  Sousuke breathes in and all he can smell is Rin and when he lets his breath out it feels like all the weight is gone from his chest.  "Finally."

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